I commonly talk about how one of the struggles in relationships is finding the balance between “me” and “we”.Dating (at least initially) is almost purely about “me”, and I’ve always thought the transition from dating to relationship starts to happen when the nature of the relationship starts to include “we”.While Gandalf and I were talking, the question was raised – when does dating become a relationship?I don’t think there’s an easy answer here, and I don’t think it’s an either/or scenario.
Because I always thought that a shot at “we” was part of the goal for everyone. The chance to find that “someone”, who would be someone. Not everyone sees dating as something that could potentially develop into a relationship. For some (especially coming out of a long term relationship) dating IS the goal.
Think of how many of the Six dates might not seem like enough to build intimacy, much less prompt an exclusivity conversation.
But depending how physical those dates get, they can.
I’ve been thinking and writing about relationships for a number of years now, but my thoughts have always come from the perspective of someone who was in a long term relationship.
A struggling one perhaps, but still – as our discussion went on it became clear that they are actually two very different things.